I sleep like you
Eat like you
Walk like you
Breath like you
But, yes I am a Muslim
I have the same rights as you
The same ambitions as you
The same dreams as you
The same hopes as you
But yes, I am a Muslim
I hurt like you
Bleed like you
Cry like you
Laugh like you
But yes, I am a Muslim
I am human like you
Have a soul like you
Have a mind like you
Have a heart like you
But yes, I am a Muslim
I might dress differently from you
Pray differently from you
Speak differently from you
But bottom line is
I am Human
Just like you
Thursday 26 March 2009
Monday 23 March 2009
My Kinda Man
They say, why you still unmarried, sister?
Don't you wanna know the bliss of being a mother?
I know a nice brother that will suit ya
Just give me the permission and I'll introduce ya!
Yet, these sister do not try to understand me
They rather just judge me
Labelling me as a feminist
Tellin' me, that my fitrah I should not resist
Sister, I ain't looking for any type of brother
I need a man whose a best friend and not just a lover
Sister, I ain't lookin' for another Ja Rule
But someone who lives only by God's rule
Sister, I need someone to honour and defend me
Not bribe me with Gucci, D&G or Fendi
I need someone deeply pleased with God's decree
Not bragging to me about his status, salary or Master's degree
Someone who understands that his woman's strength
Does not challenge him, but only adds to his success
Sister, I'll tell you the kinda man I need
A man to nurture me both spiritually and intellectually
Sister, I do not judge a man based on his fly ride
But the extent to which he worries what will happen to him when he dies
Sister, I need a warrior for goodness
Someone giving his all to stop this world's madness
Sister, I am looking for a dignified brother
Who will honour and cherish his descendants' mother
Sister, if you really wanna help me
Then try to see things from my perspective
Sister, I am not a feminist I do not have the need to be
See, if I'm still single, it is only due to God's decree
Don't you wanna know the bliss of being a mother?
I know a nice brother that will suit ya
Just give me the permission and I'll introduce ya!
Yet, these sister do not try to understand me
They rather just judge me
Labelling me as a feminist
Tellin' me, that my fitrah I should not resist
Sister, I ain't looking for any type of brother
I need a man whose a best friend and not just a lover
Sister, I ain't lookin' for another Ja Rule
But someone who lives only by God's rule
Sister, I need someone to honour and defend me
Not bribe me with Gucci, D&G or Fendi
I need someone deeply pleased with God's decree
Not bragging to me about his status, salary or Master's degree
Someone who understands that his woman's strength
Does not challenge him, but only adds to his success
Sister, I'll tell you the kinda man I need
A man to nurture me both spiritually and intellectually
Sister, I do not judge a man based on his fly ride
But the extent to which he worries what will happen to him when he dies
Sister, I need a warrior for goodness
Someone giving his all to stop this world's madness
Sister, I am looking for a dignified brother
Who will honour and cherish his descendants' mother
Sister, if you really wanna help me
Then try to see things from my perspective
Sister, I am not a feminist I do not have the need to be
See, if I'm still single, it is only due to God's decree
Saturday 7 March 2009
"That you may know one another"
We’ve heard it all before; girl meets boy, boy proposes, father refuses and all hell breaks loose. Father declines, because the boy is from a different nationality than his own, and the two youngsters emotionally charged and armed to their teeth with Qur’anic verses, sayings of the Prophet (SAW) and (more often than not) support from their local imam, embark on a mission of condemnation disguised as sincere admonition. “But father”, the daughter pleads “Islam does not allow discrimination based on race or nationality! What you are doing is plain wrong and haram!” The imam chips in, “Fear God, my brother! Have you not heard of God’s words in the Qur’an where He says He created us in nations and tribes so we may know one another? What better way of knowing one another than through inter-cultural marriages? “
Yes, it is wrong to discriminate on the basis of colour, race or nationality. Yes, God did say nationality and tribes are for recognition only. But, while it is easy to condemn the wrong-doer it would be wiser to try to understand him. Why would a father, who is fully aware that declining a marriage proposal on the basis of nationality is condemned in our religion still deny his daughter the God-given right to marry the man of her choice and risks to loose his daughter in the process (as too many fathers have done)? Many of my friends have been faced with this dilemma, and yet when I ask them this very question, none of them has a rational or viable answer. Most of them condemn their fathers for being ignorant follower of not “real” Islam but one that is mixed up with their tradition and culture. But are our fathers, the ones who raised us and made us who we are, really just a bunch of, for lack of a better word, stupid and badly informed chauvinists? I somehow found this hard to believe and decided to dig a bit deeper.
So, I asked “what reasons do the fathers give when declining the marriage proposal, when they have not even met the brother in question yet?” Now, this question started leading me to the root of the problem. Many of these fathers tend to point to the very bad track record of other boys from that particular nationality. For instance, Somali fathers have time and again pointed to the many broken down marriages between Somali girls and other nationalities, most notably Nigerians and Jamaicans and refused to marry their daughters on this basis. The fathers argue that the boys did not treat their daughters well and very few of their son-in-laws actually took time and effort to learn the language or tradition, something that they found almost insulting. If they say inter-cultural marriages is one very good way in which people can get to know one another better, why do they not then bother learning the tradition of their wives?
This for me is where it really got interesting. These are really rational and valid points from the fathers, and as they seem to be rationally discussing and thinking about these issues, then we should be able to reach a rational solution to the problem, right? As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Most of the time, the blame of this is laid upon the fathers but it seems to me that a lot of the problem is actually caused by the prosecutors (i.e. the young people in question) themselves.
Inter-cultural marriages are not something new, nor is it unique to the Muslim community. Since the beginning of time, kings and rulers from various nations used to marry their daughters to one another so to forge links with that particular state or nation. Our beloved Prophet (SAW) himself practised this as his wives included women from other tribes, nations and even religions. But with these marriages came responsibilities, more than those that usually come with matrimonial life. These rulers were very careful not to mistreat the women they married for these purposes as this could potentially, or even more likely, start a war between the two nations. Although inter-cultural marriages between Muslim youths of today do not really have the same extreme consequences if they go pear-shaped, I still feel too many of us underestimate the responsibilities. When you marry a sister or a brother from another nationality, you are in effect an ambassador for your whole community. So, if you are, for instance, a Nigerian brother marrying a Somali sister, the whole Somali community – whether you like it or not – will be watching how you treat your wife. And your actions could influence the likelihood of other Nigerian brothers marrying Somali sisters. This is sad, but true to my experience. I have cousins who have married women from other nations and, mashALLAH, the good characters of these sisters have actually caused some parents within my family to encourage their boys to marry girls from these particular nationalities!
So, let us go back to the oft-quoted verse in this context. I am of course referring to the verse in chapter Al-Hujurat (The Inner Apartments) in which God states the following:
“Oh, mankind! We have created you from a single (pair) of a male and female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of God is (he who is) the most righteous of you” (Al-Hujurat, verse 13).
The key words in this verse are “that you may know each other”. Looking into the life of the honoured mother of the Prophet (SAW), we will find out she died on her return from Medina having taken her very young son (SAW) to visit not only his father’s grave but to also to meet his paternal uncles and relatives. Let us look at this episode of her life in a modern context. During this era, there was no such thing as a nation-state but rather we had city-states. So going from one city to another, i.e. Makkah to Medina would today be equivalent to travelling from one nation to another. And what was the purpose of her visit? Although the Qur’an was to be revealed much later, Amina was really practising the wisdom of the above verse. Ponder on the loyalty of this amazing woman to her diseased husband. She travelled to another city, the last journey she would make in her life, so that her son could know his roots and familiarise himself with the history of his own lineage.
Now, I wonder, how many of those who have married from other nationalities have benefitted from the wisdom God intended with this verse? How many of us have learned the native tongues of our spouses? How many of us have taken time out from work to visit the motherland of our partners? How many of us educate our other halves about our own history and backgrounds? How many of us actually think of doing this at all? We quote the above verse in our defence when fathers disagree to inter-cultural marriages, yet very few of us actually apply the wisdom of this verse once married.
For all of us who propagate or even are in inter-cultural marriages, it is time to step up to the game and not only point the finger at our fathers and condemn them to hell for being racists. We have to realise the responsibilities that come with these marriages, being good ambassadors. Do not let yourself down by not benefitting from the great wisdom imbedded in this verse. For it is one thing to blame a person for their wrongs, and a completely different ball-game to become blameworthy in the sigh of God…
Yes, it is wrong to discriminate on the basis of colour, race or nationality. Yes, God did say nationality and tribes are for recognition only. But, while it is easy to condemn the wrong-doer it would be wiser to try to understand him. Why would a father, who is fully aware that declining a marriage proposal on the basis of nationality is condemned in our religion still deny his daughter the God-given right to marry the man of her choice and risks to loose his daughter in the process (as too many fathers have done)? Many of my friends have been faced with this dilemma, and yet when I ask them this very question, none of them has a rational or viable answer. Most of them condemn their fathers for being ignorant follower of not “real” Islam but one that is mixed up with their tradition and culture. But are our fathers, the ones who raised us and made us who we are, really just a bunch of, for lack of a better word, stupid and badly informed chauvinists? I somehow found this hard to believe and decided to dig a bit deeper.
So, I asked “what reasons do the fathers give when declining the marriage proposal, when they have not even met the brother in question yet?” Now, this question started leading me to the root of the problem. Many of these fathers tend to point to the very bad track record of other boys from that particular nationality. For instance, Somali fathers have time and again pointed to the many broken down marriages between Somali girls and other nationalities, most notably Nigerians and Jamaicans and refused to marry their daughters on this basis. The fathers argue that the boys did not treat their daughters well and very few of their son-in-laws actually took time and effort to learn the language or tradition, something that they found almost insulting. If they say inter-cultural marriages is one very good way in which people can get to know one another better, why do they not then bother learning the tradition of their wives?
This for me is where it really got interesting. These are really rational and valid points from the fathers, and as they seem to be rationally discussing and thinking about these issues, then we should be able to reach a rational solution to the problem, right? As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Most of the time, the blame of this is laid upon the fathers but it seems to me that a lot of the problem is actually caused by the prosecutors (i.e. the young people in question) themselves.
Inter-cultural marriages are not something new, nor is it unique to the Muslim community. Since the beginning of time, kings and rulers from various nations used to marry their daughters to one another so to forge links with that particular state or nation. Our beloved Prophet (SAW) himself practised this as his wives included women from other tribes, nations and even religions. But with these marriages came responsibilities, more than those that usually come with matrimonial life. These rulers were very careful not to mistreat the women they married for these purposes as this could potentially, or even more likely, start a war between the two nations. Although inter-cultural marriages between Muslim youths of today do not really have the same extreme consequences if they go pear-shaped, I still feel too many of us underestimate the responsibilities. When you marry a sister or a brother from another nationality, you are in effect an ambassador for your whole community. So, if you are, for instance, a Nigerian brother marrying a Somali sister, the whole Somali community – whether you like it or not – will be watching how you treat your wife. And your actions could influence the likelihood of other Nigerian brothers marrying Somali sisters. This is sad, but true to my experience. I have cousins who have married women from other nations and, mashALLAH, the good characters of these sisters have actually caused some parents within my family to encourage their boys to marry girls from these particular nationalities!
So, let us go back to the oft-quoted verse in this context. I am of course referring to the verse in chapter Al-Hujurat (The Inner Apartments) in which God states the following:
“Oh, mankind! We have created you from a single (pair) of a male and female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of God is (he who is) the most righteous of you” (Al-Hujurat, verse 13).
The key words in this verse are “that you may know each other”. Looking into the life of the honoured mother of the Prophet (SAW), we will find out she died on her return from Medina having taken her very young son (SAW) to visit not only his father’s grave but to also to meet his paternal uncles and relatives. Let us look at this episode of her life in a modern context. During this era, there was no such thing as a nation-state but rather we had city-states. So going from one city to another, i.e. Makkah to Medina would today be equivalent to travelling from one nation to another. And what was the purpose of her visit? Although the Qur’an was to be revealed much later, Amina was really practising the wisdom of the above verse. Ponder on the loyalty of this amazing woman to her diseased husband. She travelled to another city, the last journey she would make in her life, so that her son could know his roots and familiarise himself with the history of his own lineage.
Now, I wonder, how many of those who have married from other nationalities have benefitted from the wisdom God intended with this verse? How many of us have learned the native tongues of our spouses? How many of us have taken time out from work to visit the motherland of our partners? How many of us educate our other halves about our own history and backgrounds? How many of us actually think of doing this at all? We quote the above verse in our defence when fathers disagree to inter-cultural marriages, yet very few of us actually apply the wisdom of this verse once married.
For all of us who propagate or even are in inter-cultural marriages, it is time to step up to the game and not only point the finger at our fathers and condemn them to hell for being racists. We have to realise the responsibilities that come with these marriages, being good ambassadors. Do not let yourself down by not benefitting from the great wisdom imbedded in this verse. For it is one thing to blame a person for their wrongs, and a completely different ball-game to become blameworthy in the sigh of God…
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